The ever talked about subject. Can guys and girls be JUST friends? Obviously people of the opposite sex can be friends. I have plenty of male friends. However, the JUST part always trips up the relationship. It's not that male-female relationships always end in relationships or drama about relationships, it's SEXUAL TENSION, folks. That's right. Big, bad awkward turtle in the room. It doesn't even have to be that someone likes someone else or they both like each other. It's when your drunk, and you feel like maybe, just maybe he is a little hotter than you once thought and you touch his arm just a little more than normal. Or when you're texting and he makes a comment like, "you were so hot tonight in your dress." You don't have to have feelings for your friend, but the moments when you are feeling lonely and you think of him are the ones where SEXUAL TENSION could bust that happy little JUST. Texting and IMing are the best ways to hone this sexual tension so it becomes fun yet harmless. If you feel like flirting but have no one in particular to flirt with, turn to that opposite-gender friend (only through texting or IMing) and flirt it out. BE CAREFUL, though. The worst mistake you can make with this is getting either 1) too sexual so they think you want to have sex with them, or 2) too lovey-dovey so they think you like them as more than friends. If you do not want to lose a friend, do not go there. So, keep it small at first. Fit little (LITTLE!) remarks here and there into the platonic conversations you two have. Then, IF he reciprocates and doesn't either 1)get the wrong idea or 2) not get it, go for the bigger stuff like, "what are you wearing?" This advice is ONLY for the occasional time when you want to flirt and only for texting or IMing. No phone or face to face flirting (unless you're drunk) with good opposite-sex friends: it only leads to trouble. Flirt on, friends! :)
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The Chase. Why is it that the chase is always so much better than when you actually get whoever you are chasing? The excitement of liking someone, flirting and playing games before you actually start "going out" with them is ALWAYS better than when they like you back, you talk regularly, and there is no drama left. Everyone thinks they want that ending: The Relationship. And yes, it would be nice to know someone likes you as much as you like them. But the thing that no one wants to admit to themselves is that the drama is more fulfilling than the goal. There are two types of relationships. One in which you have the power (he likes you more than you like him) or the one in which you feel completely vulnerable (you like him more than he likes you). Each one has its downfalls. The first not only sucks because you are in a relationship in which you don't really like the guy that much, but also because he gets OBSESSIVE. Guys, the LEAST attractive thing you can EVER do is be too clingy. The management of feelings is very important for a guy to master. Act like you like her to much, she'll get freaked out and bolt. Act like you don't like her enough, she'll get insecure and shy away. Master your emotions. The second kind of relationship is hard to deal with for a girl because we read so much into EVERYTHING. If a guy doesn't like you as much as you like him, there are two ways you can deal with it. One: tone it down. This is the most common way to handle this situation. A girl won't call the guy as much or will start the "i won't text him until three days after he texts me." This helps not look as desperate. However, guys (stupid as they are) can take it that the girl doesn't like them at all anymore and give up. Girls, be careful with this technique. Second: Kick it up a notch. Flirt more. Sex it up a bit. This does NOT mean put out more. The guy will most definitely think of you as only a booty call. It means be funnier, be sexier, and kick up your personality a bit more. Careful with this one too because it can not only make you seem desperate if you do it incorrectly, but it can make you seem...strange if the guy is really not that into you.
These techniques not only work when you are in a relationship, but they work when flirting with a Potential.
Seriously. Watch He's Just Not That Into You. It is true. Every word.